what do you do when you take medication because you have to – to sleep and to stay calm in general – only to find that it’s causing something a bit worse to happen. like sleep walking to the fridge and binge eating. sometimes i remember it happening, and sometimes i don’t. the point is, its crap. i feel crap because my blood sugar levels are fucked, and none of my clothes fit me and i won’t even feel okay in a bathing suit at this point. i feel crap because it’s actually making me physically ill as well. if i have no idea what i’m eating in the dead of night, how will i deal with the aftermath? like eating something that was a bit off and getting horribly sick. come on now. this is literally the weirdest shit ever.
everyone is writing doing things making plans dreaming being positive sharing optimism and their lives; they will not admit how much they really want to die and how tired they are and how very very tedious this is and that they have actually figured it all out universe you lose we know what it really is. it is nothing. we are here now, not because we chose to be but because our narcissistic parents had to see their own images in something and now we have to suffer the consequences of their unguided unprotected sexual encounters. we are here now, dropped off in the middle of a decaying city that we do not come from and we have no map no friends no food and no will to survive. but we do. we lie to ourselves so that we can survive a life we have no intention of completing.
RIP Adam Tan. dead a week before your 23rd birthday. talented beyond your years. i only discovered you today, and for a few minutes, before i was able to read about your tragedy, i looked at your painting on my screen and wondered about you – how you had come to imagine a black sun on a suburban skyline. it’s beautiful. and i’m sure you were too. you’ve reminded me of the fragility of humans – how the world can just pass by us without stopping to take notice of what we are seeing on this planet we all share. i am sorry that nobody was able to see you.
Tags: art, collage, eugenia loli, female artist, surrealism, surrealist collage, vintage art, vintage magazines
Tags: art, cape town, craft, craft market, DIY, DIY sewing toys, DIY stuffed toys, kids parties, monster stuffed toys, sew toys, sewing tutorial, south africa, stuffed toy
I recently spent about ten days making up these little felt stuffed toy monsters for a friend’s child’s party. I had carte blanche creatively, and kind of made up little characters that would not be too scary for the little ones, but that would still denote monster-ness. here’s a full picture round-up of the final results: