Quadruple Film Score: ‘JACK GOES BOATING’

It’s been a while since I’ve seen anything utterly stand-out. And I don’t mean in a way that makes me want to spray my disgusting vitriol all over it. I mean in a ‘Wow, I’m proud to be a human being right now.’ kind of way.

JACK GOES BOATING

Brief Note to Philip Seymour Hoffman:

Philip Seymour Hoffman, I don’t know what it is about you. I really don’t. I know that your hair is thinning. Your belly looks as though you live on a consistent diet of small children caught in the woods. I know you always look ill – possibly on the verge of a heart attack. I know all these things. And yet, when I watch you on screen, whether you’re playing the 3-pound-note role of Truman Capote in In Cold Blood or a disenfranchised (what a surprise) university professor, brother and son in The Savages, I find you so disarmingly attractive. Until Friday, it bothered me some. However, after watching your performance in Jack Goes Boating, which you both starred in and directed – I no longer feel any shame at wanting to jump your frikkin’ talented bones and have your intellectually-gifted children. (Side note: Do you think your children would eat other children? Just asking.)

Actual Review:

Based on a play of the same name, Jack Goes Boating is a close study of how people struggle to free themselves from the inertia plaguing their lives – whether they think the current situation is good or not. In his heartbreakingly-sensitive and brilliant portrayal of Jack, Hoffman delivers to us a gentle and meek man, afraid of many things, but still alive enough to know that he does actually deserve good things. We see Jack’s development of self-confidence throughout the film as he learns to swim in order to take a love interest, Connie, boating in the summer without drowning, and when he learns how to cook – again, to impress the same love interest. Hoffman’s performance is so convincing, natural and precise that the character evokes a sense of sympathy within us, not to be confused with pity, for Jack. I mean, 5 minutes into watching, I totally wanted to invite Jack over to my house for a cup of tea and a biscuit. I wanted to say ‘Hey man. Give me your beanie. It looks like it needs a wash. And here’s some pie to take home with you. Let’s listen to some reggae and weave baskets. Let’s be random.’

The characters living in the world of Jack are Connie, Clyde and Lucy. They make up the complete world of vulnerability, confusion, and hope that is their section of this thing called life. Jack and Connie crawl awkwardly towards a frail and sweet romance, while Lucy and Clyde take apart their seemingly-perfect for what it is marriage. Jack blossoms from a man-boy into a man, and Clyde is left twiddling his thumbs when Lucy walks away.

It’s not a huge, grandiose plot, but it’s certainly a realistic and beautiful one. This film offers up a display of solitary human moments that we never experience in one another’s company; those quiet ‘cigarette in the dark’ moments that make life seem more visceral than a mundane, simple day-to-day grind.

I can’t see the woods for the trees when it comes to choosing between Hoffman’s acting and directing abilities. He is a wonder. Jack Goes Boating earns itself a Quadruple Film Score. Get involved, people.

love and other drugs: an imposter

Something awful happened to me this evening. something so awful, in fact, that i felt it imperative to break out of this pyjama-bound reverie of mine to sit down and write about it.

DBD (Chinese for DVD) lady came to the office today, bringing with her a wheelie-bag treasure trove, filled with the joys of easily accessible film that has become unbelievably important to me in the recent times of not being able to indulge in alcohol. so, in she wheeled, right. i chose some films. i have a selection process. (cannot be disclosed, or i may need to join the mainstream for other things such as supporting live sports matches in my country’s sports uniform tshirt and being part of a steady and unhappy couple)

anyway, something called ‘love and other drugs’ snuck into my pile. i don’t know how it did, but it did. i think i thought it was something quite the opposite to what it turned out to be. i think i thought that maybe jake gyllenhall would still be trying to redeem himself for any film role choice faux pas from the past. anne hathaway, too.

‘LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS’: what I THOUGHT the film was about:

boy and girl meet. unlikely couple, but it works due to the shared love of recreational drug use. one, or both of them, develop a severe drug addiction that leads them deep into the dark squalor that many yuppies drown themselves in willingly when they realise that working for ‘the man’ is a farce and that their parents are not always right. she prostitutes herself. maybe he does the same. by their mid-to-late twenties, they are burnt-out husks of humans, and cannot see the merit in carrying on with the lie that is normal life. emotionally, neither has any place to turn, least of all to one another, for comfort from this treacherous world. one of them dies from an overdose. one of them recovers. or they both recover and break up. years later, they spot one another in a public park, each with their own respective set of kids and/or dog. awkwardness. he has grown a beard. so has she. the end.

‘LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS’: what the film was ACTUALLY about:

boy loves no-one. such ineptitude of love allows him to be self-professed ‘playa’. boy is black sheep of family, so thinks does not deserve love. starts working for a well-known pharmaceutical brand as a sales rep. meets girl. girl has brain cell. boy is blown away. girl plays hard to get. girl has parkinson’s disease. they avoid relationship. relationship inevitably comes about. they say ‘i love you’ to one another. boy has anxiety about girl’s parkinson’s. they fight. they break up. he realises mistake. chases down bus she’s on in his shitty porsche and says ‘i need you’ (to do my laundry and cook dinner for me for all eternity).

yeah. so. i guess gone are the days where it does what it says on the box.

I say: you're both full of shit.